SUMMER DAZE

"I often think that men, when they return home from the office, field, or wherever they have spent their working day, wonder why their wives are--well, to put it bluntly--a little ding-y. A wee bit frazzled. I don't think it's the never ending cycle of cooking, cleaning, ironing and etc. that puts us mothers 'out there.' No, it's the quality of conversation that assails us every minute of every day.

As an example--take last Friday. (The high bidder could take last Thursday, too. Please?)

At 8 a.m. Mickie rises from her bed. The first question she asks as her eyes slowly open is, 'Can we go swimming today, Mommie?'

'Yes, honey, we sure can,' I answer.

At 8:30, Kristi wakes up. 'Can we go swimming today?'

'Yeah, we sure can.'

At 9:00, Denise makes the scene. 'Do you think we can go swimming today?'

'Uh-huh. We sure can.'

This gets us through until 10:00 a.m., at which time Mickie runs into the house screaming, 'Mommie, do you think we can still go swimming?'

'Yes. Now when I said 'yes' earlier, that's what I meant. Yes, we'll go swimming.'

Five minutes later, Kristi comes in. 'Are we still going swimming?'

'Yes, we're still going swimming.'

And, within the half hour, Denise states, 'I sure hope we can still go swimming.'

'YES...We can still go swimming.'

Then, at 11 a.m. my flock changes tactics a bit.

'What time are we going swimming?'

'We'll go about 1:30,' I answer.

Before ten minutes pass, I get two more questions. 'Will we go swimming after lunch?' and 'Can we go to the pool early so we get the good chairs?'

Both of those questions receive the standard answer--albeit, by now a little strained--'We'll go about 1:30.'

After a quick lunch, I tell the girls that we need to drive to the farm and pick beans. One thing I've learned about gardening in the wide open spaces of a western Kansas farm is that cattle may be wallowing in lush pasture but will still brave a barbed wire fence for a nibble of fresh corn; and, normally timid jackrabbits become absolutely brazen when bean plants are producing.

Immediately following this announcement, the chorus goes up. 'I thought we were gonna go swimming.'

'We are,' I answer, 'As soon as we drive out and pick the beans. The rabbits are eating better than we are right now.'

'Will we still make it to the pool by 1:30?'

Throughout the ten miles to the farm and four rows of beans I hear muffled mutterings of 'I wish we were swimming' and 'We'll never make it by 1:30.'

Finally, as we begin driving back to town, Denise pops up with, 'I really think it's a little cool to go swimming. I don't think I want to go after all.'

To this surprise comment, Mickie asks, 'Are you sure Denise?'

'Yeah,' answers Denise. 'I think it's a little too cool.'

'I do too,' says Mickie.

'You really think so, Mickie?' asks Kristi.

'Yeah,' answers Mickie. 'It's kind of cool to go swimming.'

'I think so too,' says Kristi.

'Mommie,' all three pipe up. 'We don't want to go swimming after all. It's too cold.'

And that, friend husband, is why your wife is a little goofy by 5:00 every evening. And, as every Mommie knows, it doesn't have to be swimming. A trip to the park, to the store, a visit to a friend's house can all produce the same sort of conversation.

Haim Ginott--where are you when we really need you?

                   
It seems evident that I liked to throw a famous name into this column every now and then...just so people would know I was smart and literate. Haim Ginott (I had not thought of him in 30, or maybe 40+ years) was, per Wikipedia, a school teacher, a psychologist,  a psychotherapist and a parent- educator. He pioneered techniques for conversing with children. His book of the day gave 'specific advice derived from basic communication principles that guided parents toward living with children in mutual respect and dignity.' (Can you imagine your father's reaction if I had given him an opportunity to read a book of basic communication principles resulting in mutual respect and dignity?) Even today, that makes me laugh!

What lucky children you were! Really! Respect and dignity! I'm not sure I ever read much of Haim Ginott...it seemed to be enough that I knew who he was, but I may have checked out a book or two. In all honesty I seldom got through anything heavy in those days. Simply surviving seemed to be enough. I know now that you might not have recognized the high ideals that were floating through our house...but I'm feeling pretty good about it.

On a separate note, it's fun to see how Kristi and Mickie parroted everything Denise said and, to a lesser extent (I think) everything she did. Denise the Great was definitely in charge. She had street cred.

July 29, 2019